Raising the Future: Discussing Racism Within the Home 

June 26, 2020 - San Antonio

Article By: Brigid Cooley - Staff Intern, SA Sentinel

Since May 30, San Antonians have joined thousands of people across the United States and the world protesting police brutality, systemic racism and marching for George Floyd, the African American man who died while in custody of the Minneapolis police, and countless others. For many, recent events have sparked varied conversations within the home.

Deborah Omowale Jarmon, executive director of the San Antonio African American Community Archive and Museum, believes that looking into the history of racism can be an effective way to better understand the present.

“Anyone of color, anyone that is not from an Anglo society, their history has been marginalized,” Jarmon told the Sentinel. “From Jewish people, to Native Americans, to Asians to Latinos, which makes it very interesting being in a city that is a majority LatinX. I think just exploring that history and understanding the impact that it’s had in our country is so important.”

SAAACAM aims to preserve the history of African Americans in San Antonio and educate the public so the African American experience is included in the nation’s story. 

“African American history is American history,” Jarmon said. “If you understand my history, then you appreciate me more as a person.” 

Jarmon, a mother and grandmother, said children need to have discussions about racism so they can better understand the world around them and not be afraid to confront the subject later in life.

“I have two sons, they’re 43 and 40, and then I have five grandsons,” Jarmon said. “My sons have been exposed to racism their entire life and, even for them, it’s confusing...it’s disheartening.” 

Jarmon said conversations about racism and discrimination on a regular basis can provide a deeper understanding of current events. 

“It’s important to do right now because as a child, and especially as a child where you don’t have conversations about discrimination, racism regularly in your home, it’s certainly confusing to watch the news, watch the protests, to sign into social media and see what’s going on,” Jarmon said.

As the issues of racism and discrimination are intrinsically complex, Jarmon encourages those who seek to learn more about inequality in their community be honest when they don’t understand something and ask questions.

“If you don’t know, it’s okay that you don’t know, but don’t sweep it under the rug,” Jarmon said. “Say, ‘I don’t know’ [and] let’s find out about this together.”

Through education and the practice of listening, Jarmon envisions a brighter future where people will respect each other.

“I want my grandsons, specifically, to not feel like they have to prove themselves so much every time they walk into a room,” Jarmon said. “I also want them to be able to change people’s stereotypes, if they still exist, of what an African American woman or man is supposed to bring to the table. I want them to be conversation starters.”

As for everyone else, she thinks mutual respect is a powerful place to start. 

“If you respect me as a human being - and we’re all humans first - then we will be able to sit down and discuss things.” 

Discussing Racism and White Privilege 

For Anne Bridges, the theatre director at Holmes High School, explaining the death of Floyd to her three children has helped her learn more about them. 

“My oldest son feels called to do something about it and wants to create change [and] my middle son is very saddened by it,” Bridges observed. “It’s hard to see them processing it and it’s hard to know that we’re in a world where [racism] is a thing. As a white parent, I can’t even imagine how much harder it is for a black parent to not only have to discuss racism with their kids, but [to] have to discuss how to be safe and how to navigate the world when people hate you for no reason.”

Bridges and her husband make it a point to discuss the concept of white privilege with their children.

“[It's important to let] my kids know [that], in this life, you have it easier and it’s not fair that you have it easier [and] it’s not fair to other people,” Bridges said. “We have to use that easier path to try to level the playing field for everyone to make it easier for everyone.”

Bridges believes that an ongoing conversation about real-world issues will help prepare her children to stand against injustice when they see it happening. 

“My husband and I believe that about all the issues that kids face, especially in this day and age,” she said. “There’s so many things and so many questions that kids have.”

Racial Differences in a Biracial Home 

Jessica Mueller makes it a point to discuss racism and colorism in her home often. As the mother of three biracial children, Mueller has seen differences in how people treat her children based on their skin color and physical features. 

Because colorism happens within her family, Mueller feels it’s not surprising when it happens on a larger scale, such as within a classroom.

“So that’s what’s really interesting about the kids and how different they are,” Mueller said. “We notice that and we don’t say we’re colorblind because that’s ridiculous, but to say we notice and respect and also honor what comes with that.”

Mueller became more aware of how racism has affected her life as a Mexican American woman after attending racial equity workshops last fall. After the classes, she felt she was able to have deeper, more frank conversations about the inequality that she felt she had internalized. 

Because her children are not active on social media, Mueller had the now-unusual advantage of being able to explain the Black Lives Matter protests on her own terms, without the heavy influence of others.

“When I had that initial conversation with them, it was bringing it up and saying factually what happened: Here’s the reason that people are standing up for what’s wrong, what’s right, what they believe, and then [here’s] what other people believe,” Mueller recounted. “[I explained] different points of view and then [shared] what my point of view was.” 

SAAACAM has moved their outreach and education programming online during the COVID-19 pandemic. SAAACAM and other online resources, like Blackpast and the National Museum of African American History and Culture are available for free to individuals who are interested in learning more about racism and African American history in the United States. 

Brigid Cooley is the editor-in-chief of The Mesquite, a student publication of Texas A&M - San Antonio and an intern at the San Antonio Sentinel. E-mail her at reporter@sasentinel.com.